Thursday, November 10, 2005

social norms

a blurb from the thresher editorial section, nick martinez from martel college wrote it:

"in my world with no god, no book to follow, no hope, no truth to seek, where do I turn? whom can I put my faith into? what if i were to take god’s place? what would happen if I were the one to judge, forgive, and love the sins of man? does it matter that this love is founded upon my absolute certainty of Humanity’s loneliness in the world? if it did not matter, what else would not rely on the path but the result?"

this rings true for me. like i'm glad that i was able to read throug the entire editorial. i was about to not do it, but whatev. so yeah. it makes sense though, right? like it's not the way we get to a good idea but the fact that we get there. i guess the counterpoint is that the motive should be the most important thing when judging someone's actions. like the fact that civil employees were paper pushers for the SS (but not actual murderers) indicates people's willingness to overlook evil. they facilitated the killing machine without ever having hurt a jew: they were the grease but not the wheels. i guess a psychologist could tell us why they acted that way, but still, they helped out. people who were vicious murderers or supporters of the Nazi party could've been brainwashed into thinking whatever they wanted, but it still doesn't take any blame off of them.

i think more than anything, all that sorta shit (i.e. the armenian genocide, stalin's forced famine, the rape of nanking, pol pot, rwanda, bosnia-herzegovina) shows us the worst that humanity is capable of. it has nothing to do with everyday life.

i guess that's what i'm getting at. that's probably the solution to the puzzle that i've been puzzling about for so long: social norms are rules for everyday life. they guide us through all the shit in the world without the fear or the pressure of having to actively concentrate on avoiding social ostracism. when i say it does not matter the way things are done, i'm talking about in everyday life. this extends to marriage, religion, relationships, hate, etiquette, etc. but when war (i.e. a matter of life or death) are on the table, i think all the social norms and rules for civility go out the window. when it is survival, we must be like animals. civility is for everyday life; survival of the fittest applies to life & death situations.

to be an brutal animal in a time of crisis: i do not think it reflects poorly on the person's character. i've been scared of the fact that i feel so inable to control myself at times of "battle" and "challenge". like i'm afraid of hurting people. just now though, i've become more calm in myself.

what about nature is brutal? i must eat, so must a deer, and so must the grass. if the grass could talk, it probably would like us to walk on the sidewalks more often. it'd be creepy if the grass could talk. there'd be less vegetarians in the world, that's for sure. nature's just a cycle. there is pain involved in death, birth, and living, but that's cuz the universe is just moving along. our attribution of "fair" to the whole equation is misguided. the world is not a fair place because the world is too complicated to care about something as trivial as your feelings. once you get over that, you'll realize that you'll be happier with how things'll work out if you just keep living the life.

a fatal car accident is no worse than a gazelle being struck by lightning. it's freak occurrence but still the result of having so many things interacting with each other. (sidenote: obviously car accidents are more frequent than lightning strikes but that's due to the fact that we intersect each other so many times, etc. plus lightning does not rely on lanes and intersections or roads or channels or any other sort of uniform path. so yeah. i'm right, leave me be.)

until then,
the buffalo on sspeed

it's been such a long time

so productivity has not been high on my list of things to get done. i need to be moreso though. alright. about thoughts.

i hate getting beaten by people who have no talent in poetry (not to say that i do). it pisses the shit out of me. at the slam poetry, i should have might as well should have just stood there and said: "I AM NOT BLACK. I HAVE NOT WRITTEN ANYTHING ABOUT BEING BLACK. NOR HAVE I DECIDED TO STEREOTYPE BLACKS ACCORDING TO THINGS I COULD PICK UP FROM WATCHING B.E.T. FOR A PROTRACTED PERIOD OF TIME." would've saved me time and effort. so yeah.

i'm not being racist. i'm being realistic. to be completely honest, it wasn't me. it was them. they were too officious is their critique. they saw me and just said NOPE. that's aggravating when people do that. especially when they're supposed to be judging you and giving you grades. like that's fine that don't take it too seriously, but i do, so at least respect me for that. furthermore, there was 50 bucks on the line. that's shitty to just give away $50 cuz you're not paying attention to what i'm saying. plus, i'm not reading my fucking poem off a paper bag. if i wanted to, i would've but the one i needed to do wasn't not supposed to be read off a book. so yeah.


anyway, i need to write more poems for posada. also, i have that lit theory paper bearing down on me. i'm so not going to be sleeping at all until it is done. subculture is changing the way i see the world. that's cool. i'm also glad my uncle's book is some of our required reading. i'm enjoying it. i'm also glad he's decided to revise my lit theory paper. all i need to do is write it out.

man, my poems for posada: so not going to be enjoyed by the target audience. eh, not like i'm here to be making friends anyway.


jesus. eh. i bet the christians don't like me right now too. so yeah, that sucks that some people opposed the idea of me just writing a response to challenge the christians: it's their faults that they are dumb, not mine. plus, i feel like it's my duty to tell people their dumbasses. it makes the world a better place in the end. being truthful has never been a bad thing, even if it breaks with social norms. social norms are perposterous. i believe. they make no sense at all. at all i say.

so yeah.

until then,
the b.o.s.s.